ACCESS DENIED

ACCESS DENIED

I DID IT YA’LL!!! 40 days of NO SOCIAL MEDIA!!! FB wasn’t my issue, it was Instagram! 😂😂🤦🏾‍♀️ I’m obsessed with pictures and everything that IG has! Lol!  Within the past 40 days soooo much has happened and I was honestly able to spend much needed quality time with God, myself and family! I also got some MUCH NEEDED REST and SLEEP!!! 

The title of this blog was birthed as a result of this social media fast! I had started to realize that I was allowing people access to me that should have never had it or they should have been cut off from me as a whole. 

I had a conversation with my friend Quisha during this social media detox and she shared with me a saying that truly touched home! Oh yeah Quisha also has her own blog so head on over to http://www.heartoftay.com and read her posts and subscribe. 

Anyhoo she shared with me the quote/meme that’s below. At first thought all I could think about was us being fully accessible to men as single women! I looked at it even deeper after a few days and realized we need to stop being so easily accessible to EVERYBODY!! 

We often wonder why we are so depleted and start to lose sight of our own value! It’s because we continue to allow people access to us when we need to kick them off our personal ship! Those same people you’re willing to cross oceans for don’t even call and wish you happy birthday! So you know they won’t be there when you really need them. 

Why do we answer every text and call that comes to our phone? Learn to put that phone on DO NOT DISTURB and keep it pushing! Everybody knows my phone stays on DND! I don’t have time to take on everybody else problems and issues! I got enough of my own and I hate dealing with my own! 😂😂😂 

I had to learn that not every man I enjoy talking to and spending time with is even worth the seconds I give to them! Those same ones will leave me on read 😂🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️ They will decide not to respond to messages or phone calls. They will respond days later with the dumbest excuses known to man! I had to learn within the past 40 days that I’m worth way more than someone’s inconsistency! I had to learn that some of those same people only kept their attachment to me so that when things in their life didn’t work out they would still think I’ll be there waiting with open arms!!! Guess what…HECKKKKKK NAW!!! BLOCKED and DELETED!!! 

Learn to say NO and be okay with that! As women, we need to learn to be okay with not pleasing everyone and not being accessible to everybody! That even goes for FAMILY!!! Lawd….EVEN FAMILY! Them jokers will leave you stranded on an island and wonder why you don’t rock with them anymore! I mean why should I? 

The hardest thing for me has been to stop giving two cents about what my FAMILY thinks and how they feel about me! I ain’t gone lie…it took me yearsssssss to stop allowing the demands and pressure of my family dictate my actions! I was a GOOD GIRL 😂 cause I didn’t like people being upset with me or being disappointed in me! I wasn’t living life at all! But babyyyyyyy when I broke loose it was OVER!!! I started to LIVE LIFE and didn’t even care! 🤸🏾‍♂️🧘🏾‍♀️ I learned that from my sister/cousin Crystal! She has helped me a lot to stop caring what them jokers think! 

Honestly, I’ve been so at peace since the last time she told me to deal with people accordingly! That’s prolly why everybody on my fb posts when I returned talked about a GLOW! ✨

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Giving people full access to you means you’re living your life for others and NOT FOR GOD and YOURSELF! Your focus is on the plans others have for you instead of the plans God has for you! Your decisions won’t leave you happy and dependent on God, which in turn will leave you stressed and depressed! I’ve had my fair share of stressful and depressing days! I REFUSE TO ALLOW PEOPLE TO TAKE ME BACK TO THAT PLACE! 

I had to learn that I can’t be a garbage dump for others to pour their problems out onto! I had to control who and what I decided to allow into my MENTAL space! People can be so negative and toxic that once they dump all of their negativity onto you, you start wondering why your thoughts and mental space is full of negativity! 

I am truly proud of myself! The past 40 days have meant so much to me! Yes I could have made the same changes I’ve made without leaving social media! But I felt the desire to truly back away to learn of myself! It was hard because I was used to being around people although it was virtually. I had to deal with myself! When stress hit or I felt different emotional hindrances, I would go to social media just to fill that void. The past 40 days I had no choice but to consult God and truly lean on myself to receive what I was truly missing! 

I had to deny myself the negativity, drama, stress and all that comes from spending hours on social media! I was so focused on everyone else that I lost sight of myself! I’m enjoying this JOURNEY that I am on! I wouldn’t change it for the world! I’m excited about where God is taking me and what He is showing me about MYSELF! In order for me to grab hold of all God has for me I have to deny a great deal of people access to me so God can have full ACCESS!!!!