Your Plans or God’s Plans: You Choose!

It’s been a little minute since I’ve taken time to lead with a few words! This morning as I was spending some time with God, I just knew this title or one similar to it would be one of the sections for my upcoming book to be FINISHED…SOON! But here we are! 🥴

God has been dealing with me on my PATIENCE…ummm well in this case the LACK THEREOF! 😭🤦🏾‍♀️ I never realized how much CONTROL played in having PATIENCE or NOT! I’ve never been one to truly have everything in control! Meaning I never truly looked at how I controlled things played out in other areas besides Trusting! In reality, my TRUSTING GOD or not, did, in fact determine my level of patience and waiting on God to act! When I didn’t think He was moving fast enough, I took things into my own hands! 😭🤦🏾‍♀️ Whew! PATIENCE IN THE WAITING! Can I stop writing NOW and say forget this blog??? No!?!?!?! Okay! I’ll continue on! Even with tears in my eyes, God has been dealing with me the last couple of days and Chileeeeeeee He has been coming at my NECKKKK!!! 😭😭 Alllll NIGHT! I fall asleep (barely) and I hear my name! The whole house knocked out so I know it’s praying time! At first I thought it was the 40 something balloons Crystal had placed all in my room 😂 But I know Gods voice when I hear it! Them balloons still getting up out this house though! 😂 But I met Him when He called! Bags under eyes now and all!

Anyhoo…

March 8, 2023 I turned 40! 🎉🎉🎉 For months I had contemplated that day and had been grieving things I needed to let go and how to let them go that I had become so enamored on a new season, a new year and a new decade that I almost missed what God was doing in the MOMENT! I was mentally trying to shift the way God was wanting to do things by how I was showing up, how I was trying to distance self from those He placed in my life, how I was trying to position self outside of what God was doing in and through me!

You see, I had been used to making things shift how I wanted them too! I was content with doing things MY WAY and being comfortable! For MONTHS, God made it almost impossible for me to be COMFORTABLE! Uncomfortable was my daily place with God! Uncomfortable with my family! Uncomfortable at my church! Uncomfortable in my relationships! 🥴😬🤦🏾‍♀️ I was okay being a Lone Ranger! I was okay not allowing others access to me on any front!! 🤷🏾‍♀️ Even til this day, moments into 40, He is yet dealing with me on this! It’s tough here y’all! It’s difficult here y’all! Accepting what God is doing through relationships RIGHT NOW is hard! I mean who wants to hand over to HIM the keys to the Benz 😂 Y’all know I’m coming with the jokes! God knows how I’m coming! He’s the Big Dawg! He’s used to me! Y’all should hear our convos! 😬😂🤷🏾‍♀️

What’s interesting is that it’s ME! I’ve been a people pleaser as long as I could remember! My life was filled with much trauma and rejection, abandonment and abuse that anything that slightly resembled any of these I gave in and chose to cave in to doing what others wanted versus what I wanted and or needed! God didn’t stand a chance at that time of my life as a people pleaser! What people thought mattered more than God! 😬 This was then! NOT NOW!

I just came from vacation and that was major for me! I don’t vacay with PEOPLE and if I ever did, well most those relationships are no more or they shifted tremendously! Halfway through my trip, the enemy TRIED ITTTTTT!!! Aye! But if you know Sis, and know how God gets me together you know he didn’t control much! He played failed moments of other trips and dead relationships to try and knock me off my rocker! I started to place undue stress on myself to show up a certain way so things wouldn’t end the way other things did! I was extra sensitive to certain things because I was trying to CONTROL outcomes so they wouldn’t be the outcomes of before! BUT because I stayed in constant worship before God, He helped me to stay centered more than before to enjoy the time I had and to embrace and encounter some amazing moments with my sis! God knew what I needed and when I needed it!

This morning in my time with God, He revealed that I was still pretty much expecting the worse case scenarios because of what I was always used to! I was taking back control that I had shifted only to Him, which landed me in the moment of upset and discouragement that shouldn’t have been! I was no longer being patient and allowing God to have full control! My thoughts had taken a shift and the enemy was gaining an edge!

Since God has been shifting me rapidly and speaking to me DAILY, I was able to gain my strength back through HIM and allow myself to REST IN HIM and gain a winning edge over the enemy! Hahaha! 🎉🎉🎉 Boom in your face satan!

My patience is not running thin, in fact it’s being strengthened as I allow God full access to me and to those things I need to give Him full access too! God allowed me to know I was trying to grieve something He hasn’t even removed! Like how does that work! Not only was I operating in impatience because things weren’t flowing how I wanted and how they had been, but I was also burying something and trying to prematurely suffocate something God never said was dying! 😭😭🥴🤦🏾‍♀️ 😬

God said, NIKKI! Are you going to Trust My Plans or your own! You have to choose because the unstable mental way you’re used to operating in, CAN NO LONGER BE! Then He sealed it with POPPA 💛 That’s how I know He means business!

First Love Moment of 40 and I can take that! 💛

I penned these words on my social media after some time with God this morning:

✨ When God SHIFTS, REMOVES, MOVES, and/or ADJUSTS, it’s doesn’t take away from the Beauty of What Was! Your Answer Should Still Be YES, LORD! 🙌🏾💛💜 Know that God has a PURPOSE and PLAN for everything! Will some things be a little difficult and/or painful??? OHHHH YES! But will it be WORTH IT! Most DEFINITELY! 🙌🏾💜Continue to allow God to reveal some of those DEEP things He has been needing to get through to you so that you can begin the process to total Healing and Restoration! 🎉🤗Remember some things may not even seem as they appear! The enemy has some of us so used to thinking the worse that any changes or shifts, we’re ready to call it quits! Nope! Get back in gear and get back to Glorifying God with ALL of You! Whatever God needs to replace and restore, it will only benefit you in the end! 💪🏾💜There’s Beauty in allowing God to Grace you, Change You, Position You! Put it all in the Masters Hands and watch Him continue to Beautify YOU and IT! 🙌🏾💛💜😉😘✨

This YEAR I choose God’s Plans! The year 40, which I coined for myself as FLOURISHING 40s, I choose God’s Plans! My ways are no longer desirable and it comes with grieving things God never shut down! How sway, y’all?!?! How sway?!?!?! No MOREEE! It comes with impatience and I refuse to walk around lacking self-control and lacking the ability to place everything in God’s Hands and allow Him to take CONTROL!

God is the MASTER POTTER of my life so how can I rush Him along when He has waited patiently for me to get my mess in gear! Whew JESUS! We want Him to work when we want Him too, but we can’t wait a few hours for Him to make it plain for us! Even if I have to wait YEARS 😬😂💜 my ANSWER is still YES!

Lord I repent right now for not trusting your plans for my life. I repent right now for not acknowledging the work that you have already been doing in my life! Lord I repent for removing things and people way before you do! I repent for doubting the call that you have placed over my life. The anointing you’ve placed in my life. I repent for not giving you full glory and trying to take any of the glory away from you by trying to do things on my own! Lord as I have entered my FLOURISHING 40s, I thank you for keeping me and leading me deeper in YOU! This is so much more than getting anything from you, it’s so much more about falling DEEPER in LOVE with YOU and seeing YOUR GLORY manifested in my life! Lord I LOVE YOU sir! Like my life and the beauty of it is all because of YOU! 😭😭😭 Whew Jesus! You have grown me so much in just a short period of time and I refuse to take any of that away from YOU by trying to focus on the BEFORE of life! Whew Jesus! Thank YOU for LOVING me! I decree that I will live this life out the way that YOU have desired me to! I will position myself to be used by you, in every regard that you decide to do so! Choose Me Lord! Pick Me Lord! I am the one that YOU ordained for the call and I aim to please YOU in all that I do! Nope I’m not perfect, but YOU are and I just want to make YOU proud! I just want to GLORIFY YOU! So WHO’S plans will I choose! YOURS! Lord, I CHOOSE You and YOUR PLANS! Continue to Purify me! Consecrate Me! Choose Me! And Posture Me for YOUR GLORY! In Jesus Matchless Name! Amen! Amen! Amen!

Y’all here’s to a New Year of going DEEPER in God and allowing His Will and Glory to manifest in my Life!

Let’s go Big Guy!

✨You Made Me For This Very Moment!✨

Oh since we are still in celebration mode check out the photo shoot! I desire to show up how God desires me to with the same confidence and boldness I showed up in these pictures! Cause Ya’llllllll 🥰🥰🥰

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