I’ve had ENOUGH and I QUIT!

I’m sure most of you came to this post because of the title! I mean I would too! 🤷🏾‍♀️ The reality is that QUITTING IS NOT AN OPTION, right?!?! But what if the lifestyle you’re living or the decisions that you are making is literally killing you mentally, physically and spiritually? What happens when you continue the direction of your life and it’s going down… hill after hill? What happens when depression becomes so thick, but you value life, but the thoughts keep raging and you need them to just leave?

In this essence, then it is time to say, “I’VE HAD ENOUGH AND I QUIT!” It’s not the worldview of quitting and giving up where you have no desire for life, but the complete opposite!

This week has been an up and down week! Sometimes those can be some of the best weeks for ME! Because it means I’m not staying still and it means that although the enemy is raging and waging war in my mind and in my body, I still wake up with another level of God’s Grace and Mercy to take charge of the day!

The enemy has no new tricks so he seems to attack my mind on the same things all the time. ALLL THE TIME! 😒🥴 You would think he would get tired by now because just as much as he is annoying, I’m sure he’s getting annoyed with God showing up and stabling my mind!

This week…YET AGAIN… he challenged my thoughts on my relationships and friendships! He threw at me every negative thing he could to try to get me to see how nothing will ever be real and genuine when it comes to people in my life! He had me believing that I’m just another “project” that will be tossed out after it’s been graded! He tried getting me to believe that I could have done more for my family and even more to help my brother not have to deal with his current situation! He tried making me believe I have no purpose or reason trying to make a difference in anyone life because my life had been doomed from the beginning!

I needed a mental health day by the end of the week, which I took! 🙌🏾🤷🏾‍♀️💕 I had to press in to allow God to minister to my heart because if not, I knew I would succumb to the plans of the enemy.

I had a client who discussed with me how she knows that she is doing great and that she is meeting her goals, but she also wants to go back to being her old self because then she knows that she doesn’t have to lose me and that I could continue working with her! At a young age she was abandoned and neglected so I understood why she said what she said and I understood her oh so well! There have been times I had stopped my own progress because I knew that once I got to a certain level in my life with Christ that the people I leaned on for inspiration would leave and I would yet feel like that abandoned and neglected child!! I honestly didn’t know how to speak to her in that moment! I had to allow God to minister to my heart so that I could help her push pass that limited mindset!

I say limited mindset because, Yes, God brings people in our lives to help us and journey with us, but they shouldn’t be our reason for moving forward or not. We have to do it for ourselves and know that God will never leave us desolate and out in the desert by ourselves! But how do you express that to an eleven year old, who life has only felt hurt and pain. ?

The entire day and the next I was so stuck and I internalized everything that transpired that day! It wasn’t until Friday night when I was able to allow the Cloud that was hovering over me to dissipate.

We had been in a Freedom Series at church: https://www.thechosenchurch.org/sermons

During that Series, God had ministered to my heart on so much! I was opening up about my life and allowing God to gut some things out and everything was going in the direction I felt that it needed too! Yessssss! 🙌🏾 My thoughts were: Finally, I can rest for a while without the battles of the enemy waging war with my mind! Like finally I can let my mind restttttt.

Hahahahhah! That was a joke!! When does the enemy ever stop coming for God’s Anointed! NEVERRRRRRR!!!! He stays on the prowl!!

What I’m learning is that you can still rest during the storms of life, because the reality is that God is the one that is wanting to do the fighting for you! Take Joy in knowing that God has already defeated the enemy on your behalf and you just need to stay in proper position and let him BE GOD!

On Friday I was in a tough space! I had reached out to one of my brothers in Christ and let him know on Thursday where I was mentally! His words were rather different from normal! I wasn’t expecting that response! In fact I hated that response so he went on the do not disturb list for a few hours! LOL! Don’t judge my life! 😂😂 I knew what he said was correct and it was God’s Truth! I just wasn’t trying to hear any of it during that time. I was beyond defensive! That’s how the enemy gets all up in you. SMH!

Even in this typing, I see how God is orchestrating things…not the full depth of how he orchestrated things, but just enough to know that HE HAS ME IN THE PALM OF HIS HANDS!

A couple of the scriptures that spoke to me during that series was Galatians 5:1 and 1 Peter 1:14! Both dealt with being free in Christ and not going back to what had you bound up in the first place!

The enemy attacks me so much on friendships and relationships with things such as:

  • “If I let people get close, it’s not real and it’s only a matter of time before they exit your life the way others did”
  • “You could have done more for your family and you could have been there more for your brother!”
  • “Nobody is ever going to really love you or have a genuine friendship with you; it’s only temporal til someone else comes along!”

Like dude SHUT UP!

Last Night I honestly had to shut the enemy out! He was nagging so tough that I wanted some boxing gloves cause I was so sick of him.

Earlier that day, I encapsulated my true thoughts and when asked, my response was “I am okay! I’m good! I’m peachy!” I tried to ignore phone calls so nobody could hear the pain that was in my voice! This was my way of operating all the time! Give people what they really wanted to hear! My thoughts have always been, they don’t really want to hear the truth anyway, nor do they want to hear anything other than GOOD!

In that moment, God checked me so TOUGH! It’s as if He was sitting on my bed and was loud (Although He wasn’t loud at all) as ever.

“NIKKI STOP! JUST STOP! YOU’RE NOT YOUR PAST! YOU’RE NOT WHAT OTHERS HAVE SAID OR THOUGHT ABOUT YOU! YOU ARE NOT THE OLD YOU! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! STOP GIVING THE ENEMY WHAT HE WANTS! JUST QUIT!”

At that moment I realized something had to change on the inside of me! It’s easy to play the pretend game with everyone else, but when it comes to God, He knows the TRUTH OF WHO YOU ARE! Others may not hear me whine and complain, but God hears it all! 🤦🏾‍♀️

He’s about over it as well! I’ve grown so much in the past three months but God needs more and wants more from me! AND IM GONNA GIVE IT TO HIM!

I spent hours before God into the early morning, Saturday, just worshipping and surrendering all to Him. I released every person in my life back to God and asked Him to do with them as He sees fit! I asked Him to not allow me to accept another person unless it has been confirmed first by Him. I sought Him on knowing my position in peoples lives. At times we can form our own positioning that’s outside the will of God for that foundational connection! I prayed for my heart to be able to accept the change of direction in relationships, if that’s what God deemed necessary. I gave my family back to God cause I can’t do nothing with them! We would all be doomed if I kept my hands in their lives. Them God children, not mine! LOL!

YESTERDAY (Friday July 29th) WAS TOUGH!

Whew! My life is so much bigger than just ME! I have to SURRENDER every part of me to Christ! Not just the parts that are visible! It’s those hidden and covered up insecurities that block us from moving deeper into the plans of Christ for our lives!

I know what God has called me to do and where He has called me to go, but I have focused so much on who will be there with me on the journey that I missed that God has always been on the journey with me and He continues to be on the journey with me!

Even when or if my mind speaks the negative thoughts, I have to rest assured that my contentment is in Christ and not people! I have to speak what God says versus what the enemy screams! Cause that joker is LOUD! It’s God’s Serene voice that comforts my soul!

It’s a lot in this post and I may have been all over the place, but one thing is for certain, it’s time to STOP ALLOWING THE ENEMY CONTROL OVER OUR MINDS! We have to know within, that it’s ENOUGH! We have to get to the revelation that Gods plans are best! We have to know that we’ve spent enough time allowing the enemy full access to us!

As I mentioned in another blog, WHEN IS ENOUGH GONNA BE ENOUGH??? When are we gone take back our rightful place seated at the right hand of God! When are we going to embrace each day with the Peace that God has given that surpasses all understanding? When are we going to realize that the enemy has no power and that he has to consult God before he even tries us! With that notion why don’t we operate and move as if we know that God is standing ten toes down ready to fight for us!

So TODAY…YES I’VE HAD ENOUGH! I’ve had enough of these games with the enemy where I just allow him free access! I’ve had enough of downplaying God in my life! I’ve had enough of being moved by my emotions.

So TODAY… YES, I QUIT!

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